Barely Holding On

There is a constant layer of fear just under my skin. I am anxious and uneasy. I haven't talked to you in 2 days. Thats the longest amount of time since I've met you. I keep waiting to wake up from the dream and find myself back in your arms. To open my eyes and discover that I never really left you at all. That this whole time we were together and this heartache I feel is nothing more than fiction. It seems impossible to me that you would leave me. I have no evidence or reassurance that you are traveling here other than your word. And I want to have faith in that. But I am doubting. I am doubting because I miss you. Because I'm afraid. I love you so much. I can't imagine life without you.

Holding My Breath

I know I didn't make you up inside my head. I remember your voice in my ear and your breath upon my neck whispering "iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou" as we walked down the beach. I remember the rough pads of your finger tips grazing my back. I remember the way our hands fit together and the feel of your soft, wet curly hair just out of a shower. I remember your kisses and the way you have me butterflies. I remember the sound of you breathing when I slept with my head on your chest. I remember a million little things but none of them are as precious as having you here.

So I am holding my breath, waiting for you to be in my arms again. And I will wait until the end of the earth. Because there is nothing I'd rather have in my life than you. And the end of the earth will come quicker if you never make it back to me.

Morning Sun

The 7am sun shines outside my window. A hazy orange color, a little bit of warmth in the autumn coolness. It holds the promise of you, of a new day, of dreams coming to life. I've been waiting for you for 20 days. Today is the 20th day and I've got this gut feeling. I have this bubbly happy feeling in my gut. Its probably nothing. There is no way I could know you'd be here today but I still hold onto this intuition this wishful thinking. Because today I miss you so much I don't know how to breath.

Inspiration

As a fellow writer and artist I am connected to you. Your words, your pain, the thoughts you put out into the world tie to my soul with a sailors knot. Your words flow like the water from a brook and I am drawn to what you have to say. I'm inspired by you. By your abilities. I believe in you. Sometimes you just need someone to believe in you.

A New Beginning

My words used to have a home. Like a messenger pigeon I could tie a note and send it off into the world. But that place is tainted now and its time to start again. Its a new year with big new things happening in my life. I needed a blank page, a new pigeon, a new home for these thoughts that circle in my head. This journey is starting now and I'm looking forward to what this road holds.