Sometimes I wonder if its worth it. Wonder if being here is worth it. Wonder if opening myself up is worth it. Try as I may to not be vulnerable and get involved I just can't seem to learn my lesson. I have expectations. I do every time and then I get let down because things don't work out the way I think they should. I just for once want things to go how I think they should. Its not even the fact that we're not labeling it. I'm glad there isn't a label. Labels ruin everything. They set a standard of conduct between the two people. And then you have to explain yourself to everyone. No label is just perfect. Its more the fact that he didn't kiss me. And he didn't hug me. Its the fact that he's drunk. And not himself. And maybe even more so its me. I'm scared. I'm really scared of falling in love. Again. And I don't fucking want that. Maybe I should have thought this through. Maybe it was too soon.
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