it feels like this...

this feels real. it feels easy and hot. it feels like your tongue sliding across my neck, cooling the spot you just left your mark on. it feels like your hand running over and under my thigh and me clutching at your tank top trying to get closer, even though we are already skin to skin. it feels like a late night hook up in my car, far out on a dirt road and my heart is beating so fast it feels like its going to pop out of my chest. it feels like Eskimo kisses and butter flies in my stomach when i catch your smile and you bite your lip. it feels nervous. then slow, and faster then hot. burning up, burning my skin, burning my kisses into your skin. when suddenly it slows down and your hand finds mine, fingers laced together, lips searching for each other. it feels like three hours of a roller coaster where you feel fully satisfied but not nearly satisfied all at the same time. it feels like your head resting on my chest and your quiet voice saying "your heart is beating so fast" and before i can think about what im saying i reply back, "its because of you". it feels like the muscles of your arms, shoulder, back, hips, stomach, thighs under my hands and me needing to feel every inch of you. it feels like your collarbones under the slide of my tongue and my hand sliding up and down your length. it feels like your nails scratching up my back and across my hips. it feels like the way you suddenly pull me tense close to you and i can feel your hand on the small of my back. it feels like i need to climb into your lap but this car is too damn small. it feels like i saw you mouth i love you but there is no way and i have to be imagining things. i feels like i love the feeling of my head on your chest and my hand on your hip, feeling your hip bone and the sudden need to plant a love bit right there. it feels like im crazy because i could've sworn i just heard you say "my darling". it feels freezing out here and my legs are shaking and suddenly you're saying "hold me im freezing" and you're right there by my side but in the back of my mind i remember you saying, "i dont want a relationship" it feels like that. what do you call it?